Wallpaper Extravaganza

This is a special day for you. Why? Because you are about to embark on a journey through time. To the early nineties. Yes, you are entering our home where the nostalgic varieties of wallpaper will bring back memories of your youth (or maybe not if you're older). I'm not sure what year this house was built but judging by the beauteous walls I will have to go with the late eighties or early nineties. Shall we being our tour?


Here we have the upstairs guest bedroom. The woman was seriously missing the beach because this is not the only room with sea-related decor. Maybe her husband never wanted to move to a coastal state and she was making up for it with seashell and starfish wallpaper in flat, humid, lake less Indiana. Even if I lived near the beach you would never find this in my house. Oh wait, you do. Shoot.

Next we enter Search's room, Aaron's favorite. Originally designed as a boy's bedroom, Search gets to fall asleep starting at cheerful dolphins and whales who look like they've eaten a few too many Twinkies. Not to mention the multicolored stripes on the bottom half of the wall. Well that explains why he's been so tired all the time lately! He can't fall asleep in there! Maybe I should just add some strobe lights to the mix.
Next we see the kitchen. Lucky for us we have the fourth of July all year round in here because we are constantly surrounded by "fireworks", as Destroy calls these creative brush strokes. Too bad we can't somehow show our kitchen during July instead of displaying our flag.

Here's the guest bathroom. "Look, Mom! Little fireworks!" Nothing like imagining fireworks going off as you're sitting on the throne.
This room used to be the dinning room. Seeing that we only have enough tables for one room, we use this room for the computer and piano. Combined with those blue floral curtains it looks like something out of "Golden Girls".
The other ocean-themed room. The master bedroom. Isn't it beatific? I had to be sure to get a picture with the ripped boarder in it to show you how intensely ghetto the room looks.
The stairwell. Lavender paint with white brush strokes. Remember doing those splatter-paint art projects when you were a kid? I hope they didn't pay this guy too much.
Seriously, how do you decorate this place? The wallpaper speaks for itself. I've tried hanging a few pictures but I'm having major reservations in some rooms. I just have to pretend the wallpaper isn't there. You may be wondering why I don't just paint the place? Well, I intended to in the beginning but I got some bad news. After being told by the owner before we signed the lease that I was allowed to do anything I wanted to the walls, I get a call the other day from his wife telling me that there were only three areas that I couldn't touch. The dinning room from Golden Girls, master bedroom at the beach and stairway to art class. So what's the point of painting at all? I was a little peeved to sat the least. I've had my share with stupid people lately.