the littering kid

So, I'm kind of a sucker for those kids that come to your door wanting your money. You know, the ones selling $11 candy bars for chess club. Although, I'm a pretty good judge at the kids who deserve the contribution or not. Apparently I was a little off tonight.

Ding dong goes the door. I run to answer it in the middle of making dinner and see that the tall kid on the other side has a brochure and a box. First off, I can't help but see that he has a monumental mouthful of food in his mouth. Between chewing and swallowing he somehow conveys the message that his basketball team is raising money to keep kids off the street and out of gangs. Yeah, it didn't quite compute in my head either. $6 would buy a pack of Reeses peanut butter cups or you could simply donate $3. Search and Destroy were already eyeing the bright orange Reeses package so I gave in and handed over the $6. A portion for the candy and a portion "to keep kids off the street and out of gangs". Gee I feel better now. I contributed to society in a positive way.

A few minutes later we went outside to get the mail. Crunch. I lifted up my foot to see what I had stepped on. What do you think it was? Oh yes, a Reeses peanut butter cup package. In my driveway. Huh, that was funny?! We hadn't opened ours yet. Then another crunch and another Reeses package. Up the street I could see the tall kid with his clipboard and box... and a scattering of orange Reeses wrappers trailing behind him. I stopped mid-stride in dis-belief and formulated my thoughts into one. I had just given my money and support to a litterer. I ran back inside, grabbed the package that we had just purchased from the kid and told Search and Destroy that we were going on a short walk. We took off bare-footed while dinner was just about ready to come out of the oven in pursuit of the littering kid.

Half a block later we catch up with this kid's friend who was also out selling overpriced candy bars to keep kids of the street and out of gangs.

"Where's your buddy?" I asked him. I needed to talk to this kid. Search and Destroy were wondering what the heck their mom was doing, marching up the street, pregnant and barefoot to the nice person who had just given them candy. I had simply explained to them that this person had left trash in our yard. I told them that littering was wrong and that I wouldn't stand for it. By this point I had Search and Destroy on my side, and fired up, spouting occasional, "Meanie!" and "Idiot" (that one bought Destroy a time-out) and "You shouldn't throw litter in our yard!"

And then, "but you're not going to give the candy back, right Mom?".

The kid's friend walked with me to where his buddy was. He was trying to weasel someone else into buying candy from him. The litterer.

"Hey!" I said when I finally caught up to the kid. "I want my money back! You threw trash in my yard and left it all over the street. I'm not buying candy from someone that litters!" Way to go with the words, Meg. That'll show 'em. Real tough. Now you know why I didn't go to law school.

"Yeah!" Piped in my wing man, Destroy.

He just stares at me. "Uh... we sold candy to a lot of other families tonight. It was probably them. We didn't litter." Oooh, right. Really convincing. So someone else walked up to our doorstep in the last 10 minutes and dropped a candy wrapper.

Me: "Well, you were chewing on a mouthful when you got to my house and you left your wrappers in my yard!" And now you're denying it!

Him: "No. I didn't leave it. It was someone else."

He shrugs me off and walks stalks off to the next house. His friend, stunned, just watches me finally turn and walk away with my barefoot rug rats in tow. I was defeated. And I wanted to hurl those little peanut butter cups at the kid's face one by one. It didn't play out in my head that I would be walking home still clutching the candy and $6 in the hole.

Search: "Mommy, why is littering so bad?"

Me, speaking loudly while the friend was still within ear-shot: "Because if everyone dropped a piece of trash on the ground, our world would look like a land-fill".

Search, pausing, probably wondering what a land-fill was: "Oh. Well, I'll pick up all the trash".

And they did. They picked up every last little piece of trash on the way home. This included numerous Reeses wrappers, a flattened beer can and an old cigarette box (you can tell we share our neighborhood with some, uh, white trash). So we washed our hands when we got home.

In the end, I wasn't able to get my money back and I obviously didn't do anything to improve the kid's outlook. I mean, I don't think he'll go searching out a trash can anytime soon, but I feel like I made a point to my kids. And that's what really counts, right? Now that they've seen their lazy mom march up the street barefoot to make a point, I think they'll think twice the next time they want to throw some trash out the window.

And it made me feel better too. Even though these candy bars stare at me from my kitchen counter, I was able to vent my anger towards the perpetrator. Being a girl, I don't often vent my anger towards the person offending. I usually throw things instead.

Think I'll go eat some Reeses now.