"A Poopy Post" #2. Ha! ha!

So, Brooke's post inspired me. I've decided to take you back through time and share with you a few of our poo incidents. I only refer to them as "our" because while the kids are the ones doing the pooping (and other things with it), I'm always the one cleaning it up and throwing the kid in the tub.

WARNING: Graphic descriptions and images included. If you are pregnant or otherwise afflicted, consider refraining from reading this post.

But, if you do decide to read this, keep in mind that my children don't have the poo consistency of most children. Whereas most kids have solid "nuggets" which are relatively easy to clean up, my children pretty much produce diarrhea on a daily basis. I have no idea why this is, it just is. So, you can picture this consistency while you read these "incidents".



INCIDENT #1: Destroy was 1. I had just gotten him out of the bath tub after we had eaten burritos for dinner. I heard the phone ringing so I left him naked to run around for a minute (big mistake #1) while I went to answer it. While I was on the phone and not paying any attention to him (big mistake #2), he waddles over to me with brown stuff all over his hands. I wondered how he had gotten a hold of the re-fried beans from dinner because it had all been cleaned up. While still on the phone, I look around the kitchen for the source of the re-fried beans (big mistake #3) and turn back around to find him eating the re-fried beans. Only (and at this point I realized) that they weren't re-fried beans. It was poo that he had all over his hands and was now sampling, with an indifferent look on his face. I freak out. AHHHHHHH! My kid just ate his own poo! Should I call poison control? What do I do?!?! So he went back into the bath and I found the mess and took care of it. It's not every day your kid eats re-re-fried beans!



INCIDENT #2 (literally): Destroy was 2.5. We were trying to potty train him and it wasn't going well. We found that if we let him go Commando (shorts and no underwear) that he seemed to do a little better in sensing that he needed to go. So Commando and I were over at the Garden and he was playing with Dragonfly. The two boys were upstairs playing with toys and the Gardener, Miracle Grow and I were hanging out downstairs with the babies. I went upstairs to check on them after I heard some questionable noises and words. As I rounded the top of the stairs my darling little boy walks over to me with lots of brown stuff smeared down his legs and caked on his feet. His little red shorts were done. Not only was it all over him, but it was tracked through the hall which led to the source, a large squishy pile of crap next to the crib. Not only was it all over the floor, but Destroy decided choose someone else's house to try a little finger painting. In his mind the white crib and bookshelf needed some contrast. Brown contrast. Well, I can tell you that brown didn't match the room and his redecorating really stunk. Through all of this, Dragonfly was jumping up and down in his crib most likely cheering him on. They are quite the troublemakers together. I threw Destroy in the tub and told him to stay there until I was done cleaning up. The Gardener's husband helped me clean, but we wouldn't allow the Gardener up there until it was gone. As I recall, it took over a half an hour. Are there still stains on the rug, Gardener? At least I gave you money to have the carpets cleaned :) Somehow we are still friends.



INCIDENT #3 (Why does this only happen when we are at someone else's house?): It was this last spring. Search, Destroy and I went over to a friends house to eat lunch and play. Once again, the kids were upstairs playing and Amelia and I were downstairs eating lunch. I hear Destroy yelling, "blah, blah, blah, POO, blah, blah, blah, SEARCH!" I caught the two keywords and raced upstairs. Search, mind you, had NEVER had a poo accident in his underwear, so I didn't think we'd have a repeat of the Garden. I figured he was sitting on the pot and needed to be wiped. Not so. He, also, had pooed in his pants. Luckily his underwear caught most of it, but feeling icky, he felt the need to remove his pants to rid himself of the discomfort. Off went the pants, poo smearing down his legs and plastered his feet. Trying to live up to his older brother, he tracked it through the room and down the hall. It made for a great play date and clean-up took a little longer than usual. Amelia's little girl, Mikaela still refers to Search as "the boy who pooped at our house". Lovely.



INCIDENT #4: This July. It was early in the morning. Too early for anyone to function, including Search the early riser. He apparently didn't quite know what was going on and missed.

I told you they have daily diarrhea. This incident lacks excitment (look how easy that clean-up was!) but I had to include it because this is the only picture I have of any of our "incidents".

So there you have it. Now you know... it could always be worse :)